tired sandwich

That's what I feel like today...one big slab o tired slapped between 2 slices of bread. Cuz I'm not just tired...I have that overwhelming sense of malaise accompanied by the sensation that gravity is yanking on my person considerably more today than yesterday.
I'm getting enough sleep. I'm not stressed. I'm eating a fairly well-balance meal. I even take the occasional vitamin when i feel lax in nutrient consumption. What gives? And the bummer of it all is if I actually give in to the everpresent malaise, I can't sleep. I could lay horizontal for hours, eyelids stapled open. It's damn near unbearable. Hopefully some exercise willl do the trick. Stay tuned for the wacky trials and tribulations of new havens only human sandwich.

Fishy Fishy

I began my daily internet browsing by reading my friends livejournal, and he had a great post about Helen Caldicott. She's "The single most articulate and passionate advocate of citizen action to remedy the nuclear and environmental crises"...and I'd never heard of her. Every once in awhile I slip into my happy little bubble and forget about all the problems plagueing the world. Not that I should spend every waking moment worrying incessantly...but I really feel better when I maintain an overeall awareness. So today I'm refreshing my environmental consciousness...checking out the most recent state of fisheries, scrolling through greenpeace, looking at environmental policy....etc etc. THIS is a good site if you're a seafood lover (I definately am). I ate tilapia last night. Tilapia is the one fish that seems to always be on best choice list. They're easily farm raised and subsist on a vegetable-based diet (a naturally vegetarian fish :o) ... so i like tilapia. Tilapia goes great with glazed carrots (brown sugar glaze) and roasted red potatoes. yum.

dreary day. still optimism reigns

So we have a dreary looking day, and i'm still in a good mood. That is a most fortunate occurrence. hrm. So it's already wednesday. I feel as if this whole week is just sliding by so smoothly (like it's one long day broken up by random light and dark spots). I feel like the weekend was only yesterday. It's a wierd feeling, and probably why I'm still giddy (well, the anicipation of lopping the heads off unsuspecting chcolate bunnies is also playing a part in the giddy factor). The weekend was so peaceful, with precisely the right amount of excitement. Jake and I went up to Stratton Mountain, Vermont to do some snowboarding. I've been wanting to check out the US Open Snowboarding Championships for years (it's always held around March in Vermont). Since Stratton is now less than 3 hours away... I definately had to go this year. So we got some lift tickets online (half price!!), and were on our way. We not only got to ride a damn cool mountain, but caught Keir Dillon flying out of the halfpipe. To see these guys hurl themselves 1080 degrees while flying through the air is just awesome. It always looks cool on tv, but the real thing is mightly exhilirating. The pipe looks massive. Plus, these guys all pump each other up. I love that. The comraderie is similar to a mountain bike race, or mountain biking in general. We all wanna see our friends hit it bigger or smoother...or get excited because they've done something they couldn't do before. I love these kinds of sports. I love that everyone just wanders around after and kinda hangs out (Hannah Teter was the only one I could really pick out, cause she had this crazy all plaid gear on). To top off the weekend, we stayed at a beautiful little place called the Four Seasons Inn (close to Mount Snow), and had fantastic breakfast each morning (complete with fresh-baked muffins, choc-choc chip one day and these multi-grain with carrots and raisins another) mmmm. The owners were english and a fantastically friendly sort, and the atmosphere soooo cozy (indivudually decorated rooms, a common area with a fireplace...). I'm pumped for spring mountain bike riding, and it looks like we'll find ourselves heartily exploring the green mountain state.

sunny day and sunny disposition

So things are looking up. Research wise, people are starting to communicate...and it seems there are a few incredibly motivated and intelligent people that are taking over the imaging program.
This is exxxxcellent. I am completely excited now. I was already moderately excited, now I'm so nerd-ishly exuberant...it's almost frightening. In a good way though. So things are sunny on the work front, and it's sunny outside too. So sunny that I'm cursing myself for mis-placing my sunglasses and having to walk around with a perpetual squint all day. 40 degrees and sunny is awesome. Walking around looking like I have something stuck in my eye...not so awesome. BUT, it just so happens that Jake arrives today and we're going up to Stratton tomorrow. So the weekend will include some snowboarding, along with some event watching (the U.S. Open of Snowboarding is being held at Stratton this week). I realllly hope we can actually see some events. I know we'll be wading through hordes of people. Atleast we can count on seeing some riders getting high enough out of the halfpipe to give us a show. woo!

And I'm still eating granola. The amount of granola I made is enough to eat bowls of it for breakfast until June. Well, maybe not that long (especially the way I eat it)...but there's A LOT. Now, I can actually put homeade granola on my banana oatmeal waffles. Oh, the simple joys in life. By the way, I was stupidly excited to listen to the new Jack Johnson cd and hear a song about banana pancakes. Granted, those were pancakes and not waffles...but it was still a welcome thing to hear as I was stir-frying in my kitchen on a saturday night ( i like stir-fry almost as much as i like banana-oatmeal waffles and granola).

And, on a final and necessary note....Happy St. Patrick's Day! It's your job to go out and have a pint today. It doesn't have to be green. I'll openly admit to avoiding the green beer. But kick back and have a pint of suds. And if you're Irish and love to drink on St. Pat's....definately get an Irish car bomb. Jameson+Bailey's+Guinness+Irish Holiday= :o)

muck and chaos can be good

so the current study I'm workin on is in a state of chaos. Fixable chaos? Yes. Although, i'm not sure how long it will take to fix the chaos. Just goes to show that these Ivy Leaguers may have a few brain cells up their sleeves, but they don't know crap about PET. Being the determined optimist that I tend to be, I'm rolling up my sleeves and diving right into the muck. I'm gonna soak up every little detail of setting up an imaging program. It looks like this place has the potential to have a great imaging program. I guess all good things come to those who wait (and work their asses off). So i'm in a mental rambo kind of mood today. We'll see how that holds up as this progresses. I emphasize the word PROGRESS.

I just ate half a bag of granola. Tonight, i shall make my own granola (well, someone elses recipe...but my sweat and tears). I wonder if excessive granola eating is a side effect of swimming in a large pile of muck for several weeks. hrm.

hermitting

Today, I am a hermit...and i like it. I woke up to about 6 inches of snow and thinking I should be on a mountain with my snowboard. I didn't have the heart to go myself though. I feel slightly weenie-ish for not hopping up to the local resort and checking it out, but i'm also still swept up in the novelty of just being in this sunny apartment staring into the snow covered streets. It's a bit mezmorizing. I haven't spent this much time reading and relaxing in forever. So hermitting can be good, as long as it's not a habit. I could make a tounge twister ouuta that....Habitual hermitting hinders heapings of harmonious hilarious hijinx...heh. So anyways...i don't have much to report. I just finished watching a show called "New England Living". It was great. I guess it's a weekly show, and this week focused on houses, resorts, hand blown glass, hand built furniture, and micro-breweries in Vermont. Ya gotta love that. So now I'm reading more Bukowski. Bukowski's stories feel very human to me. They tend to make me feel a sense of respect for life, people and interactions....from the more simple to the most complex. Not everyone is so lucky to make it a quarter of a century relatively unscathed. hrm. So now i resume my coffee drinking ways, and then i shall briefly de-hermit myself for a walk up the street...because 30 degrees and fresh snow demands at least some time outside.

after falling down, get back up (and then get shoes with better tread)

Well, this morning definately had it's down side...
1. I spilled hot coffee down my neck and had to run back to my apartment to put cold rags on my scolded skin (burns weren't to bad though, the redness stopped looking so angry after about 20 minutes)
2. I slipped and nearly broke my neck on the sidewalk o' ice.

So then i made it to work safely, but the trauma didn't end there. I went to main campus to meet up with a subject for some prestudy cognitive tests...but i left the pen to my tablet PC in the office. DOH! So i had to reschedule the session. So today definately supports the bad things happens in groups of three theory. But the afternoon saw a spark. I spent a few hours on a literature search (search through articles looking for data on opiate receptors and other nerd-like things)...and I ended up going off on all these tangents. Curiosity tangents mainly. It started when i was looking at the word stereotypy (meaning frequent, almost mechnical repitition of the same movement, with no obvious purpose). Then i started thinking about word origins. Before I knew it I was looking up every Neuropsych word I could think of...it was pretty interesting. So that was my day. Getting the tar beat out of me three times, and then reveling in the beauty of discovery. A yin-yang sort of day. Bad days can definately be salvaged.

Welcome to my kitchen....look at that sunlight!

thar she blows

The wind was fierce yesterday. I was walking to my jeep with face fully exposed to the blistering cold, so that by the time the journey through the parking lot ended, I had a face that was completely red, frozen hair, and as a bonus I slipped and fell on the way there (with a messenger bag weighing a ton, an umbrella, and a travel mug to gather back up after i fell...) The ride home was over an hour (usually fifteen minutes), complete with fire engines trying to get through, cars swerving, and cars stuck on the side of the road. The roads were more ice than pavement. But this morning the sky is clear and the sun shining. Amazing. Just amazing. Nature is amazing. So today I'm equipped with my morning java (the second to last pot of gloria jeans....today or tomorrow i will traverse to the local coffee haven and purchase more beans to feed my habit), and a rather sunny disposition. I can't stand that I still feel tired though. Residual tired after you've been awake for an hour sucks. For me, it usually means I'm getting sick - not a good sign. Welp, time to fill the travel mug and be on my merry way. I may be in Pittsburgh for a visit on Friday. Oh what this weekend shall bring!

a good moment

I'm here listening to Jack Johnson, bubble toes. This song makes me think of home, friends (diane mostly), peanut butter and jelly, a free-wheelin bike ride. Random, simple, and good things. Music sometimes makes me feel like a better person. Or at the very least it enhances my experience of the world at any given moment. That spark of recognition when familiar music flows is like the best comfort food, and new music is such an invigorating experience...be it good or bad. It can be anything from volatile to spiritual, to sweet, sensual, and subtle...the softest of background vibrations. Thinking is an unnecesary condiment in the act of music listening. And thinking is also an inevitable conclusion. If I could express myself in verse or limerick all the time, I probably would...or atleast in rhythms, hums, and silence. Instrumentation and voices may saturate the most distant of souls. Music melts away things making my mind scattered and chaotic. Soothing, calm, terrestrial. To dust we shall return...and all that will be left are notes and thoughts in the air, floating in santimonious chaos.

Ah, Rock n' roll by the Velvet Underground. This makes me think of phish...they covered this song at a show in Cleveland (and many other times). This particular time happened sometime in the late 90's. I know the exact date, but it seems inconsequential at this particular moment in time. We whooped and hollered then at the familiarity, with thousands of others. I whoop and hollar in my heart as it plays...I'm taken back there.

what will play next? I could go on like this all night, and for a lifetime. mmm. music: food for the mind, body, and soul. I thought of this often when I was young. Now, I mostly feel it.

end of weekend blabbering

I'm in the swing of my new job/apartment/etc. I think so anyways. It helps that this apartment has a comforting feel...comfort is essentinal in a home.
So Jake and I took a trip up to Ski Butternut yesterday ( a ski resort in Great Barrington Mass.). It was a crazy sunny day, and I loved every minute of it. To be in the sun all day was such a treat. There were a few sunny days at Seven Springs this year, but the sun was always fleeting...maybe a few hours at most. Saturday was all sun, all day. Plus, the vertical drop was bigger than seven springs, making for longer runs. Long sunshiny runs!
This morning was a waffle day. I busted out the brand-spankin-new waffle iron and whipped up banana oatmeal waffles (with granola on top). We garnished them with raspberries and blueberries. I'm a waffle making maniac. The waffle iron came with a recipe booklet...ooooh, ahhhh! Time for some mindless entertainment (simple-minded movie, video games, etc)...my eyes and body are too tired to engage in anything constructive.
peace.

stuff happens

i just wrote a post. a long one. One that i found actually worthy of the pixels it was taking up. Alas, the computer froze, so it's lost...and I don't feel like reliving that 10 or so minutes of my life. Stuff like that happens. To rehash a tidbit, I'm pirating an internett connection from someone right now (thank you, magical somebody..it's not really pirating, just legal useage of a signal...not as exciting, huh?). That, and dead philosphers like Descartes are most of what i talked about. Don't ask why. My brain drools philosophy from time to time. I suspect since i spend my days trying to pinpoint tangible evidence of brain activity translated into behavior and physical traits, i find it exhilarating to step into the land of philosophy...the land of "what if?" Yeseterday i was overjoyed to be in an apartment with no internet connection. Today, I sit on the interent and ponder philosophy as neurons dance through my head. bizarre. that's all she wrote tonight (she being me of course). i'll try to not delete my brain children in the future. these not-as-good after the fact posts just aren't as gratifying. peace.

Gonzo

So Hunter S. Thompson leaves us. Not a surprising death really...but an exclamation point to a life that was chaotic. I think I'll read the rum diary again this week. It seems a fitting tribute.

Chapter 1 ...or so it seems

At 9:30pm February the 27th, I once again entered my home for the next year and some change. A 1 hour delay on the George Washington bridge, and a weary road trip soaked body made for a fairly simple first night of unpacking and collapsing in a heap on my makeshift couch/bed. No e-mail or cable access at home yet. I kind of like both of these things. I wasn't sure if i would...I like the idea that i must venture forth to some public area in order to use a computer. Moreso, I must read and interact with something outside of the technological to gain knowledge. I also like that walking has thus far been my transportation. I knew these feet things were useful for more than just shifting weight between two pedals within a ginormous hunk of metal. In short, I really like it here. Being surrounded by tangible history, and the obvious emphasis on community and promotion of ideas is unlike what I originally expected. "Yale, hrrr-umph...." I thought...and wasn't quite excited or intrigued...more worried that my off-kilter personality might clash with the wall of stringent learning I had pictured in my head. I enjoy sitting in my apartment. Just sitting and not even really doing anything in particular. Reading and coffee are at the top of the list right now...but i really just like sitting, quasi meditatively, and actually reflecting on the entire situation and potential ahead. I've been running around so much, that I hadn't really stopped to think in depth about what I was about to begin. I sat on my couch in silence for about an hour last night; motionless, serene...completely satiated by life. Then, while sipping coffee, I went over my "to do list" for today, cuddled up on my couch/bed with some bukowski, and drifted into sleep. life is good. it's been good for quite some time now...but i guess last night i finally had time to think about it. peace.

Yale Factoid: yale students actually taught the Africans on the Amistad some english, and helped them communicate with each other. I never knew this. Rather Interesting...