today

It's a day for brief thoughts and intense focus.
Gonzalo Rubalcaba in my earphones.
Music peaks my senses.
Some people think it's distracting
To me it's no more distracting than footsteps up and
down the hall, voices in the distance, ringing phones, door knocks...
With music, I have rhythms fusing into my thoughts.
Nourishment.
To look at me, with my smiles and intensity, and hear nothing but
the tap tap tappin of keystrokes. Little do they know what secret pleasures
carress my eardrums.

Peace.

a clear aquatic curtain falls.

Seas slowly, sweetly, nudge the sky.
Fervid Hunger.
A thrashing dance begins.
Translucent fingertips churn the earth.
Lapping waves. Swallowing. Heaving. Alive.

From afar Labored breathing begins.
Flee? Stop! Stare... Wonder...
Humbled. Frightened. Questioning.
Sand and earth mixed and thrown down.
Each step taken removed and replaced with
heterogenous similarity.

Dance together, and danced apart.

fall

It's hard to believe fall is already at our doorstep. Yesterday, as we drove through Meshomasic State Forest, I was amazed at all the trees already morphing into fall costume with red and yellow jumping out amid the remaining green. Little did I know Sunday's bike ride would accidentally end up being a first fall ride. Fallen leaves lingered on and around trail after trail.
So to the ride... The weather was warm and the trails, amazing. We had scoped out Meshomasic (Portland, CT) online...some moderate climbs, some singletrack, some nice technical stuff...looked like our kind of place. It turned out to be a sweet sweet ride. Roughly 4 hours, with a good combo of fire road climbing (our last climb of the day was about 2 miles) and smooth sweeping downhill, plus a couple nice rock gardens. Not so many logs or roots at this place. We had ourselves a little stunt sightseeing as well. It appears the trail building gnomes are aplenty in the woods of Meshomasic. I'm definately taking my camera next time. We found trails with insane stunts...bridges built 6-10ft off the ground. It was a downhill playground. It seems every half hour we found ourselves saying..."HOLY S**T!!! Look at that freakin' jump. Damn!" And these things weren't just natural jumps or ladders tilted against rock...we ran into a dozen or more wooden bridges and ramps connected together for stunts that must have been 50 ft long. It was insane. I walked up one of the ladder bridges and got goosebumps. Very Cool though. I'm hoping we'll catch someone on them one day.

Beer of the weekend: Sammy A's Chocolate Bock (Apparently, the state of Connecticut gets 60 cases of this specialty Samuel Adams brew when it comes out). An excellent beer I dedicate to Nancy and Eric. Cheers.

Also, thoughts (and a beer!) to all those Florida Folks getting ready to weather Rita.

soothing rain

I'm very zen-like today. The day began in a very uneventful way, until the multiplication of simple joys just overwhelmed my usually mediocre morning.

6:30am - boyfriends friend calls
6:35am - shannan lies in bed in catatonic state as boyfriend makes coffee
6:45am - shannan turns over
6:46am - shannan reluctantly gets out of bed
7:00am - boyfriend flys out the door for morning bike ride
7:15am - shannan eats yogurt and granola, gets a shower, sings and dances to Natalie Merchant, notices new growth on bonsai tree, rain begins, and thus zen ensues

Something about the music, the tree, the fresh coffee, the sound of a light september rain. I looked at my little bonsai and sighed. I started with just a seed over 4 years ago. A seed given to me by a friend for my college graduation (well, there were multiple seeds, but only one survived). So i have this one tree i planted myself, and the funny thing is that's it's the only seed from that bunch I planted in my own pottery. I remember when I made that pot too. It's a bit heavy for a small piece, and a little awkward. I chose this blueish glaze that resembles the color of a globe. The bonsai is growing out of it's own little replica of mother earth.
And there's just something about waking up and not having to rush into work. Savoring the coffee, savoring the tunes...savoring having a job, and a home, and a silly waking up to go bike riding when its gonna rain boyfriend.

This helps ease the sadness, frustration, and pain going on in my soul right now, if only a little.

My new "riding" socks

My boyfriend is a funny one. I nearly peed myself
when he handed me this new pair of bike socks. heh.

global warming...

"The Stop Global Warming Virtual March on Washington is a non-political effort to bring all Americans together in one place, proving there is a vast consensus that global warming is here now and it is time for our country to start addressing it."

Stopglobalwarming.org

I used pinto

...and the chili turned out really well. I am now a maker of chili. what joy. I have a high affinity for Lenny Kravitz and "resilience" this morning. strange but true. The Lenny Kravitz thing is a fluke...I heard him in the car at precisely the right time. The resilience thing has to do with a lecture I heard this morning on resilience in the face of emotional stress...it went over traits common in highly resilient individuals (such as POW's, Navy Seals, and people that have overcome traumatic events and not developed any psychiatric illnesses)...as well as the neurocircuitry and neurobiology that might be involved. Behavioral Neuroscience. my magical field of study. There was one portion that looked at a genetic polymorphism of the serotonin transporter. People with the l/l allele tend to be more resisitent to developing depression in the face of emotional stress, than those with s/l or s/s allele. The wheels in my head starting turning as I thought about Eating Disorder populations and recent data we've collected on the serotonin transporter. I love going to lectures, and leaving with a good overall sense of the topic...as well as new directions for my own thoughts. mmm, science! Apparently, I'm leaning toward un-punctuation and under-capitalization today too...

Things I'm thinking

Why do statistics excite me so? (even the ones that look like Japanese)
Why is picking graduate schools to apply to so damn hard?
Should I use kidney or pinto beans in my chili? Or BOTH (ooooohhh, ahhhhh)

That's about the extent of my thought process at the present time. I spent Labor Day weekend in Manhattan. I've been there a lot lately, but had the opportunity to stay with my best childhood friend rather than the boys this time around. It was refreshing and comfortable. I got lost (mentally) in a ginormous used bookstore, and three books found me. I left with all three, having paid a grand total of only $16. ah yes, success. This weekend I traverse back to NYC, as it just so happens a fellow Pittsburghian is making a journey there. I'm a bit more acquainted with NYC now. I feel like I just live in one giant suburb of it. It's nice to know places.

Oddness

If you type "blogpsot" rather than "blogspot" for someones blog address, a bible studies website comes up. It happened for every blog address I tried. How strange. I thought someone was blog hi-jacking until I realized I had mis-typed the url.

Katrina

I just donated to the Red Cross. Anyone, Everyone...Please donate too. Peace.