Addiction

In my younger days (around 18-20ish), I determined I'm not so much of an addictive personality. I tried smoking, but it never really stuck. I drink beer, but I can start and stop and start again. Sometimes a month will go by without a beer and I'll finally stop to think, "hrm, I think i could go for a cold one." Same with caffeine. I drink coffee damn near daily, but if we run out of coffee, I just don't drink it. I don't twitch and moan and fall into deep withdrawal (though i will admit the occasional headache brought on by lack of coffee), I just continue on. So yes, non-addictive. Then the holidays hit...and I shop, and I shop, and then I shop some more. For about one month out of the year I am an insanely addicted holiday shopper. I'm online shopping, I'm window shopping, I'm visualizing what I need to buy and where I'll buy it. I had to step back today to realize the full spectrum of my syndrome. I had to fix myself a cup of apple spice tea and put away all my lists. I guess it just gets away from me...I want so much to get the perfect presents, and get everything everyone wants. I have to remind myself it's fun to give, and I shouldn't make myself crazy. I forget how wonderful all my gift recipients are, and that they'll like what I get...or in the least, just be happy they received something. So I'm trying to ween myself off of over shopping and over thinking my shopping. It's damn hard. But I'll start here. I'll start with my tea, and my blanket, and my candles glowing from their perch atop my plant stand. This weekend I'll most likely shop, but I'll take it easy, I'll buy less, I'll buy atleast one toy for a child I don't know (donate it), and I'll smile instead of think tensely about how many shopping days are left. I feel better already. Ah, the soothing powers of words on a webpage. Happy Stress-Free Shopping!!!!! :o)